The "T" stands for "Twilight"

OK THIS IS A LITTLE FUNNY AND A BIT CRAZY TALK BUT I LIKE IT SO HAD TO SHARE IT WITH U. JUST READ THIS RANT ABOUT MTV MOVIE AWARDS!

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The MTV Movie Awards, a show long on entertainment and understandably short on deserved accolades, is now an entirely democratic enterprise. The public has always voted on the show's winners, and now (literally, right now) you can vote for the nominees in each category. MTV offers many choices for each award, and provides a write-in prompt. Best Kiss, for example, has 22 contenders to pick from, including two same-sex snogs and one inter-species kiss. (I expect the creepy Internet dwellers of America to make Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning winners in this category.)

The field for best movie is particularly funny: "The Hurt Locker," "Up," "Inglourious Basterds" and "Precious" are in there, yes, but so are "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra," "Hot Tub Time Machine" and "17 Again." None of that matters, of course, because "New Moon" has the award in the bag; at least MTV had the good taste to keep the Hannah Montana movie off the list.

I also like the idea of Jeff Bridges competing against Zefron, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson and ... Robert Pattinson ("New Moon" and "Remember Me") for best male performance. One lucky actor will suffer the indignity of accepting the award for Best Scared-as-S#!t Performance. My money's on Leo.

Silly as these awards are, they do serve as the perfect antidote to the Oscars, which seem to get more and more dour every year. This year's ceremony was almost bereft of laughs, even with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin hosting, and the awards themselves were all about paying fealty to the likes of Kathryn Bigelow, Sandra Bullock and James Cameron. The Golden Globes used to serve as the happy medium between Oscar and MTV, but everyone pretty much dismisses them as the publicity race they most certainly are.

Is the perfect film awards show possible? One that salutes art and commerce, without being overtly pious and self-important? One that has a lot of fun -- because movies are fun, you know -- without being juvenile?


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